Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
Oh, Juliet! (dies)
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
(Goes rafting. Goes home.)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Nothing is good enough for me.
Ms. Elizabeth Bennet
I could never marry that proud man.
(They change their minds.)
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
(People are MEAN to Jane Eyre.)
I have a dark secret. Will you stay with me no matter what?
My secret is that I have a lunatic wife.
(Jane Eyre leaves. Somebody dies. Jane Eyre returns.)
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Daisy, I made all this money for you, because I love you.
I cannot reciprocate, because I represent the American Dream.
Now I must die, because I also represent the American Dream.
I hate New Yorkers.
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
An old man catches a fish that’s too big for his boat. The fish gets eaten by sharks. Then he goes home and DIES.